On the Importance of Money and Love
The other day I overheard two women discussing money and its importance in a relationship. One was adamant that she could never fall in love with a “tramp” (this soon became dustbin man, which then became builder) and the other said that you can’t help who you fall in love with. Their conversation went a bit like this:
“You’re telling me that if you were to meet someone with no fortune but with whom you had great chemistry, great chat and great sex with, you’d still rather find yourself a richer man with whom you’d be bored with?”
“Yeah. Money is a big deal. You don’t want the guy to have to depend on you, do you? You’d bring home the bacon and cook it too!”
http://www.newsmediaimages.com/humor-article-14352-caption-this-funny-picture-for-27-august/
I sat behind them scribbling down a few of their views, until I put down my pen and paper and thought about my own. Whilst I find it difficult to see a situation where you get to know a homeless person well enough to be infatuated (let alone fall in love) with them, I’m a firm believer in true love and that everything happens for a reason. When The Notebook‘s Allie and Noah first met, he was nothing but a local country boy/builder and she was a beautiful heiress with her whole life ahead of her. Despite the great divide between their families’ riches, all they cared for was being together. So why does society find so much importance in money and wealth? Sure, money brings power and importance to the table, but doesn’t a great conversation and a passionate kiss mean more than receiving the Cartier Love bracelet from someone who you’re only settling for?
http://images.pictureshunt.com/pics/t/the_notebook_movie-11436.jpg
Carrie Bradshaw famously said “Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.” Maybe I’m naïve, but I believe that falling truly and madly in love with someone is more significant than settling for a wad of cash. As long as you get by financially, being happy and enjoying the life you lead is what really matters. But do I speak from an old fashioned perspective? Am I wearing rose-tinted glasses? Is there more to life than love? And if so, what is there? A good salary? A good career? Good sex? Can we settle for just ‘good’?
Perhaps it is because this is how I was brought up, because I’m a woman or because I refuse to accept a lifetime of mediocrity, but surely there is a limbo where we can get a bit of all the best things which will amount to the very best thing – happiness.
Anonymous, perhaps your time would be better spent offline, amongst *actual* people. I'm getting the sense that social skills are not your strong suit and therefore find you to be less of an authority on love than the author, or indeed even, say, the average toddler. You are proof that money can't buy happiness or love or even common sense, or else you surely would never have used said money to purchase a computer and an internet connection with which to spew inane drivel like that. The fact that your comment was longer than the original article on which you are commenting speaks volumes, i.e, you like to hear yourself talk much more than you like being a decent human being. The author stated her opinion. She did so plainly and succinctly. At no time did she offer that her OPINION was gospel or based on any scientific findings. She has an opinion, she is entitled to it. You are entitled to disagree with it, of course, but you are not sir, entitled to be a dick about it. Particularly when signing your name, "Anonymous" – a sure mark of a coward who lacks even the basic conviction required to stand by his own position. Your behavior is indefensible and regardless of how much love or money you might be privy to, you're an ass. My recommendation is that you leave the house once in a while, experience life beyond trolling from a keyboard and then get back to us in a few months. It could change your life.
I am unsure as to who Anonymous is but I feel like they made some decent counter-points. I am especially interested to learn of the author's definition of love, as I agree this would have been quite pivotal to the understanding of the piece.
That said, it seems you are attacking someone more vehemently than the original comment was toward the author. You blasted Anonymous for attacking an opinion with a counter-opinion… something that you attempted to do but with less tact and cohesion than they did. In fact, you were insulting and filled your response with conjecture toward the person's character. Not exactly the strand of response I would imagine from someone on the side of Love.
Perhaps a more well-rounded and formulated response could have struck more of a chord with me…
[...] writers and readers. There has traditionally been a social stigma about reading particular genres (romance and sci-fi/fantasy in particular), making people embarrassed to read them in public. With an [...]
Firstly, thanks for the response!
Now to argue Anonymous' (I'll keep your identity secret) 4 points. Here goes:
1. Franklin P Jones once said "Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile." Whilst I can't give you a rock hard definition of what true love is, I do know that love is what gives me hope. It gives me hope that I will not end up like "the old woman in the shoe" (minus her many children) and most of all it gives me hope that I will not have to live in an unhappy marriage. Love has been the maker for music, art, films, books and more.
2. I am aware that it is a film, but there is a reason that this love story has touched the hearts of so many. People may watch movies to live away from reality for 2 hours or so, but this does not mean we do not wish to live like the movies. Who wouldn't want to be as happy as Noah and Allie? Who wouldn't want Batman's superpowers and car?! We WANT what we see in films. We WANT to immerse ourselves in films because it is better than reality. But whilst we have the choice to marry for love and marry for money, we cannot choose to be Batman.
3. In regard to choosing my wording more carefully, thank you – I'll keep that in mind for next time. When my next article is published I will be sure to send you the link, hopefully there will be more approval.
4. That was a smooth way to show off your article!
X
May love can be by money, i think
May be love can be by buy with money, i think
I married for love. When we met, he was a student and I had a lucrative job. We have been inseparable since. For the past two plus years that we've been together money has been the root of our most intense arguments. His earning potential is at most half of what mine is when he has a job — he has been unemployed for a long time. He does a great job taking care of our home and budget. BUT he feels ashamed every day that he cannot contribute financially and I'm tired of feeling the responsibility of being the sole provider and having to pay for everything all the time. We're both very open-minded people but the societal expectations and the expectations we were raised with is really hard to overcome. We love each other very much and are doing the best we can to overcome this mental hurdle. I have recently become unemployed, and interestingly, it feels as if our relationship is stronger — perhaps because we are now at an equal level. Who knows what will happen next, but I do know that together, we can get through anything.
[...] powerful one. Will we ever come to terms with love? Who knows, there are enough books, films and articles written about it to tell you what it feels like. But there is no right feeling. Nothing is ever easy [...]